Exercise.... it's for skinny people

Now despite how many fitness type magazine you might see me purchase at Kroger/Target/Walmart/CVS/7-11 I truly hate working out. Anyone that tells you that they enjoy working out can go ride an elliptical off of a cliff, bench press something without a spotter, Zumba until they pass out, P90X their way into a horrible depression, and run until their legs are nothing but nubs.

THEY ARE LIERS!

This is reality.

Brutal right? The truth isn't so pretty.

I have said that I love working out.... I'm a lier. I hate it. No one likes to make themself workout when they could be sitting on the couch watching My Strange Addiction or Toddlers and Tiaras while eating their favorite candy or ice cream.

Another horrible thing about working out is the whole calorie thing. If you want to look amazing and eat what you want you are shit out of luck my friend. Here is the magical equation:

I shit you not! Who spent time figuring that horrid formula out. It should be named the horrible equation that will torture women forever! Here's the facts: When I plug all my depressing information into that equation it tells me that I burn around 1,500 calories per day.... did you know that there are approximately 3,500 calories in 1 lb?! So if I want to lose 1 lb per day (cough BIGGEST LOSER) on a typical 1,200 calorie diet I would have to burn 3,800 calories in one day I would have to spend over 6 hours on a treadmill running at a constant speed of 5 mph, or I would have to partake in about 900 minutes of Archery..... You can thank this website for that lovely gem of knowledge.

So when it all comes down to it....

I will probably end up working out for the rest of my life, and I have come to terms with that...

But if we want results like this....

Please note.... This is not me.

We shall be slaves to metal machines, ugly workout clothing, body image, gluten free diets, low calorie diets, high protein diets, detox programs, fitness crazes, and general fitness fads...

And that is why Exercise is a reason for loving life.